Taking the Scary out of Halloween: who thought such a fun holiday could be so challenging?

I truly enjoy Halloween. I love thinking up fun costumes, handing out goodies, seeing all of the kids (and not-so-kids) in our neighborhood, and looking at all of the creative decorations. Since I live in the desert, I can sit on my porch and enjoy the evening. For our loved ones with dementia, this may not be as fun of an evening.
The fun costumes that bring us so much joy can become very confusing for those with dementia. When the truth becomes a lie, lies like masks and make-up become absolutely terrifying. The constant ringing of the doorbell by trick-or-treaters, while fun and exciting in the past, can become a source of panic and anxiety now. Having candy in the house can be tempting for the best of us, but compulsive for those who no longer have control or filtered thoughts. Lack of filters could make parties or other social interactions virtually impossible.'
How can we help with this, especially when our loved ones still want to engage in the holiday? 

• Set limits- maybe rather than engaging in trick-or-treat all night, you only offer treats for a shorter amount of time. Many communities now do Trunk-or-treat which provide a daytime option to trick-or-treating that could be a nice alternative. By handing out treats in a controlled environment (which you can leave it becomes too much), you may be able to provide the excitement of Halloween without the overwhelm.
  
• Provide some control- wait to purchase candy for trick-or-treaters until closer to the day, hide them, or ask a neighbor to hold them until you’re ready to hand them out. Another option is to purchase non-candy treats. I’ve been surprised at how many kids have opted for stickers or other items over candy. This can also deter your loved one from eating all of the treats before it’s time.
  
• Ask for help- if you’ve always gone to the same friend’s house for a big Halloween party, maybe ask them to help with providing safety for your loved one. Perhaps you can go early to have a little socialization before it gets crazy and then scoot home. Maybe you can host a non-Halloween, Halloween party. Then you can have all of the fun without the costumes and fear. If you know the kids in your neighborhood, you could invite them to trick-or-treat at your house at a certain time (maybe before all of the other kids) so your loved one can see their costumes and give them treats without the overwhelm and fear that the entire community could bring.
  
• Make your front door a “danger zone”- I don’t mean literally, but figuratively. Fun Halloween decorations can block the doorbell and front door enough to deter determined trick-or-treaters. Many kids don’t realize that if the lights are off we don’t want them to ring. By making it difficult or undesirable to knock and ring could ease some anxiety on the part of our loved ones.
  
• Adapt costumes and decorations- I’ve found, over the years, that less can be more with Halloween costumes and decorations with my clients with dementia. Masks and make-up can be terrifying so I tend to lean toward simple and obvious. My pirate headband and stuffed parrot on my guitar. My silly animal headbands and matching tails. My flashing tiara. They’re all simple but loved by my clients (and many are from dollar stores so they’re cheap and easy). I usually have some for them as well so they can have fun without being scary. Use your imagination. It can go so much further than you think!
  

Halloween can be fun, but not always for our loved ones with dementia. By thinking ahead and making some alterations, you may be able to hold on to some of the excitement without it becoming overwhelming. Dementia is scary enough, we don’t need to add more.
Happy Halloween!